Seventh Thing: Road to Nowhere

“And we’re not little children, and we know what we want…”

The answer: brownies, warm from the oven.

This song came on the radio today (such a relief after all that repetitive Christmas trash) while I was baking some rocky road brownies. It’s such a good track for a kitchen singalong, and the video is fantastic. Definitely worth several viewings while your buns are in the oven. It also reminds me of that a classic 1980s kids film, Little Monsters (Fred Savage at his The Wonder Years era best), which finishes with the track. And the song seemed perfectly themed for my baking – the rocky road to nowhere.

The origins of rocky road allegedly lie in mid-19th century Australia when it was created as a means of selling broken confectionery, stretched with cheaper fillers, to customers who didn’t know any better. There are variations in the USA and UK, but common ingredients to all are chocolate and marshmallows. Apart from that, it seems like you can add more or less anything sweet or nutty.

It being the bleak midwinter, (Darke version, of course: the only Christmas music worth listening to) it is more appropriate that these brownies should be a sparkly, snowy road, rather than plain rocky.

So I made them with white chocolate (and threw in a few festive dried cranberries so I can pretend they are one of my five-a-day) and then decorated them with more white chocolate, melted in a DIY bain-marie, plus some glistening blue sprinkles and sugar snow flakes (to get that “sno-oo-ow on snow” effect).

Tools / special requirements: blue sprinkles (mine are hand-delivered from America). Blue cooking equipment is not compulsory.

Time taken: 15 minutes preparation plus baking time

Things learned:
Road to Nowhere has been widely covered, including a country version by Nouvelle Vague and an a cappella version by The Flying Pickets. None come close to the original.

Satisfaction (1-10): 7.5 – I should have doubled-up mixture as my baking tray was bigger than the recipe stated, so they ended up a little thin (rather than deep and crisp and even) but they tasted pretty good nevertheless.

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